There is much to say about French table etiquette, and I wrote many articles on this blog about this subject.
However, I believe the way French people address the bill at a restaurant requested a bit of attention.
1 ā Donāt Talk About Money in France
Talking about money is considered vulgar by French people, so we donāt like to share the bill at the end of a meal.
Itās part of our French politeness to take turn treating friends, and we kind of keep track mentally of who hosted last, who paid for a restaurant etcā¦
This is especially true if the party is only two people or two couples.
Friends can say it up front:
- āCe soir, cāest nous qui vous invitonsā
(Tonight, itās on us.).

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2 ā Do Fight to Pay the Bill
Or, just grab the bill when it arrives. Friends often argue on who will pay the bill, meaning everybody argues that they want to pay the whole bill.
Who is going to pay the bill among French friends is often settled by:
- āNon, jāinsiste. Vous nous inviterez la prochaine foisā
(No, I insist. Youāll invite us next time), - or āNon, non, cāest Ć notre tour, cāest vous qui nous avez invitĆ©s la derniĆØre foisā
(No, no, itās our turn, you invited us last time.)
3 ā Be Precise About Your Invitation
Be aware of the difference between:
- āJe voudrais vous inviter au restaurantā
Iād like to invite you to a restaurant ā which means the person launching the invitation will pay the whole bill,
and
- āVous voulez venir avec nous au restaurant ce soir?ā
Would you like to join us in a restaurant tonight?)
Or, more casual:
- āOn se fait un resto ce soir?ā
Why donāt we eat out tonight?
In both cases, itās unclear on who is paying.
These are not rule set in stone. Of course, sometimes French people will share the bill.
Larger tables, younger crowds, friends getting together several times per week, and of course co-workers will tend to share the bill.
In that case, we just say:
- āon partage enā + the number of people who ate.
Letās share it in⦠ā X
Or someone will just give the amount in cash they think they are in forā¦
- āTiens ; voilĆ 45 Euros pour Paul et moiā.
Here you go: here are 45 Euros for Paul and me.
Or the person putting the amount together will ask for it
- Donne-moi juste 35 Euros pour Paul et toi: tu nāas pris quāune salade.
Just give me 25 Euros for Paul and you: you only had a salad.
However, we will seldom go into discussing precisely who had exactly what to calculate exactly how much one should pay. We wing it, round it upā¦
Sometimes, the waiter will accept that each one pay with his credit card. So, the peson will say: āpour moi, cāĆ©tait le steak-frite et un cocaā⦠and the waiter will charge his credit card. This has become even easier with the contactless / tap to pay cardsā¦
5 ā Do Offer to Invite a Frenchwoman
Now, if you are a man having lunch or dinner (it can be just as friends: itās not because you have dinner with a woman in France that itās āa dateā), French customs dictate that you pay for her.
This is an old habit though, and the woman could insist that sheād like to pay her part, or even treat her male friend⦠but letās say that it is expected for the man to offer, and to insist a bit, even if he could possibly concede at the end.
Some ā usually older ā men would not have it. I sneaked on my Dad once and pretexted to go to the bathroom but instead went to pay for lunch directly at the register in a kind of fancy restaurant. My Dad was really mad, and made me promise I would never do it again!
If you enjoyed this article, I recommend you read āhow to comment about food in Frenchā and āwhat about āleā French doggy bag?ā
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