How to Make, Accept and Refuse an Invitation in French

11 Feb 2011
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How to Make, Accept and Refuse an Invitation in French

Making or refusing an invitation is always tricky: finding the right words to do so with tact is essential.

We use mostly 3 irregular verbs : vouloir (want), pouvoir (can) and devoir (must).

Vouloir: je veux, tu veux, il veut, nous voulons, vous voulez, ils veulent (don't say the ent but do say the L).
Pouvoir: je peux, tu peux, il peut, nous pouvons, vous pouvez, ils peuvent (don't say the ent but say the V).
Devoir: je dois, tu dois, il doit, nous devons, vous devez, ils doivent (don't say the ent, but do say the V).

Remember, when 2 verbs follow each other, the second one is in the infinitive; tu veux dinER.

Note: you will find audio recordings of the verbs vouloir and devoir, conjugated in many tenses in the affirmative, negative, and interrogative forms + exercises in my French Verb Drills.

1 - To Make an Invitation

To say “would you like”, we say “do you want to” - we do not use the verb "aimer", we use the verb "vouloir":
Est-ce que tu veux dîner avec moi ?
Est-ce que vous voulez jouer au tennis avec nous ?

You can also use “pouvoir” to ask for permission;
Est-ce qu’il peut regarder la télévision avec Marc ?

Note that you cannot say "peux-je". You can say "puis-je" but it is very formal and kind of old fashion. "Pourrais-je" (conditional of politeness) is used but formal, "est-ce que je peux" is the most common one.

2 - To Accept

There are many ways to accept, but here are the most common:
- volontiers - with pleasure
- oui, d'accord - yes, OK, I agree
- je veux bien. - OK, I'd love to. Note that in English, "I'd love to" can lead to a positive or negative answer. "Je veux bien" means that you agree. You cannot say "je veux bien mais je ne peux pas".

Examples:
- oui, je veux bien aller au cinéma avec toi, merci.
- d'accord, à quelle heure ?
- volontiers, merci, c'est très gentil.

3 - To Refuse

- Non, je ne veux pas - No, I don't want to. If you may need to say that in some occasion, be careful that it is quite strong, and can be seen as rude. We tend to use the expressions below:
- malheureusement.... then give an excuse - unfortunately. It's pronounced "ma leu reuz man(nasal)"
- désolé(e)... then give an excuse - sorry
- je voudrais bien, mais... then give an excuse. Note that in English, "I'd love to" can lead to a positive or negative answer. "Je voudrais bien" means that you actually cannot do it.

Examples:
- Non, désolée, je ne peux pas dîner avec toi ce soir. J'ai déjà des projets.
- Non, je ne veux pas acheter ce magazine ! Arrêtez d'insister !
- Malheureusement, nous devons travailler ce soir. Peut-être que nous pouvons dîner ensemble samedi soir ?
- Je voudrais bien, mais malheureusement, je ne peux pas. Je dois rentrer chez moi.

4 - Politeness

Note that we also use the verb "vouloir", in the conditionnal, to ask for something politely.
- je voudrais, tu voudrais, il voudrait, nous voudrions, vous voudriez, ils voudraient.

Je voudrais réserver une table pour deux personnes s'il vous plaît.

More on French politeness

5 - Would You Mind

To express this notion, we use the verb "vouloir bien".
Est-ce que tu veux bien ouvrir la fenêtre s'il te plaît ?

6 - Note the Difference Between

J’aime écouter la radio (I like to listen to the radio – saying what you like and don't like).
Je voudrais écouter la radio s'il vous plaît (I would like to listen to the radio – permission)
Est-ce que tu veux écouter la radio ? (would you like to listen to the radio – invitation).

7 - Contrast the tenses used in this dialogue

- Est-ce qu tu veux du thé?

- Non merci, je ne veux pas de thé. Je voudrais du café.

Unlike English, we use the present tense for the question and the negative answer. We use the conditional of politeness to express our wish.


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Camille Chevalier-Karfis

Born and raised in Paris, I have been teaching today's French to adults for 19 years in the US, France, and to people around the world over the phone and by Skype . My method is proven and unique, and, based on my students' goals and needs, I've developed  high quality French audiobooks and French audio lessons for all levels.
Good luck with your studies and remember, repetition is the key!

Author: Camille Chevalier-Karfis
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