9 Kid Jokes in French & Translation & Audio Pronunciation 🧒

“Toto” jokes are very popular in France among elementary school children, and there are thousands of Toto jokes.

They also have been part of the French culture for a while: everybody in France knows about “Toto”, and can probably tell you one or two Toto joke they remember from their childhood.

So it’s time to discover the silly side of France!

Who is Toto in French Jokes?

“Toto” is a young schoolboy, an impertinent dunce, who talks back and is lazy but usually not mean – I believe his name would be “Little Johnny” in English?

Most jokes revolve around school, homework, talking back to adults and are very short and use the modern spoken French language.

“Toto” is always represented with this drawing : zero + zero = la tête à Toto !! (0 plus 0 equals Toto’s head). It’s kind of his signature!

Jokes in French Recording

For a fun French practice, I suggest you first listen to the audio recording of the French joke – try to first only listen to the joke and see if you can understand.

Then read the French transcript as you listen to the joke again.

Then look at the English translation and memorize the joke: you’ll also memorize the vocabulary, the French verb endings… and we can all use a good laugh! Repeat the joke to your French teacher, to your French friends…

Have a wonderful day!

Press press play to hear the audio of the following 3 jokes in French

1 – French Joke

La maîtresse à Toto:
-Toto, cite-moi deux pronoms.
-Qui, moi?
-Très bien.

English Translation

The teacher to Toto:
Toto, mention two pronouns.
Toto: Who? Me?
Teacher: Great!

Note – be careful with the word “la maîtresse” in French… It means both a female elementary school teacher in French, and… a woman lover!

2 – French Joke

Toto achète une paire de lacets.
– “Et avec ça ?” Demande le vendeur.
– “Avec ça, je vais attacher mes chaussures” …

English Translation

Toto buys a pair of shoelaces.
The seller asks, “Et avec ça?” [meaning, “Anything else?”; but literally, meaning “and with that?”]
“[Well,] with that, I’m going to tie up my shoes.”

3 – French Joke

La maîtresse demande à Toto :
– Peux- tu nous citer les quatres éléments ?
– Euh… Oui. Le feu.
– Oui.
– La terre.
– Oui.
– Le vent ?
– Oui, enfin, l’air.
– Et euh ….
– Celui qui te sert à te laver …
– Ah oui le savon !

English Translation

The teacher asks Toto:
– Could you name the four elements [for] us?
– Eh … yes. Fire.
– Yes.
– Earth.
– Yes.
– Wind?
– Yes, well, Air.
– And eh …
– That which you use to wash yourself with …
– Oh, yes, soap!

Press press play to hear the audio of the following 3 jokes in French

4 – French Joke

Toto est à l’école et demande s’il peut aller au WC. La maîtresse dit non. Puis elle demande a Toto où est le plus grand fleuve du monde, et Toto répond :
– “il est sous mon banc”.

English Translation

Toto, at school, asks [his teacher] if he can go to the bathroom. The teacher says no. Then, the teacher asks Toto where the longest river in the world is. Toto answers:
– “It’s under my bench.”

5 – French Joke

Le père de Toto s’étonne de ne pas avoir encore reçu le bulletin scolaire de son fils. Il lui en demande la raison :
– Et ton bulletin, il est pas encore arrivé ?
– Si, si, répond Toto, mais je l’ai prêté à Paul pour qu’il fasse peur à son père !

English Translation

Toto’s dad is worried of not having received his son’s report card. He asks Toto the reason:
– “So, your report card has not come in yet?”
– “Why yes,” replies Toto, “but I have lent it to Paul so that he scares his father [with it]!”

6 – French Joke

Toto se plaint à un ami :
– Ma mère m’a puni pour une chose que je n’ai même pas faite.
– Ah oui ? Qu’est-ce que c’est ?
– Mes devoirs…

English Translation

Toto complains to a friend:
– My mom punished me for something I did not even do.
– Oh, really? What’s that?
– My homework.

Press press play to hear the audio of the following 3 jokes in French

7 – French Joke

Toto rentre de l’école.

– Papa! Tu vas être fier de moi! J’ai été le seul à répondre à la question du maître!
– Et c’etait quoi la question?
– C’était: qui a posé une punaise sur ma chaise?

English Translation

Toto comes back from school:

– Daddy! You’re gonna be proud of me! I was the only one who answered the teacher’s question!
– And what was the question?
– It was: “Who put a tack on my chair?”

8 – French Joke

La Maman de Toto lui demande:

– Alors Toto, tu as appris beaucoup de choses à l’école aujourd’hui?
– Pas assez en tout cas, ils veulent que j’y retourne demain.

English Translation

Toto’s Mom asks him:

– So, Toto, did you learn a lot of things at school today?
– Not enough, I guess [literally “anyways”], because they want me to go back tomorrow.

9 – French Joke 3

La maîtresse demande:

– Toto, avoue que ton père t’a aidé à faire ton devoir.
– NON! M’dame, je vous jure!
– Sûr ?
– Ah ça, j’en suis sûr… Il l’a fait tout seul …

English Translation

The teacher asks [Toto]:

– Toto, [do you] admit that your father helped you with your homework?
– No! Miss, I swear he didn’t!
– [Are you] sure?
– Oh, yeah; I’m sure… He did it all by himself …

Do you know more Toto jokes? If so, add them to the comment section below!!