French jokes and puns – blagues en français 3 (with audio)

Devinettes d’ascenseur

Que dit une tasse de thé dans un ascenseur ?
– Je veux mon thé!

Que dit un cigare dans un ascenseur ? 
– Je veux des cendres! 

What does a tea cup say in an elevator?
– I want to go up (well… it’s a pun! So in French, “mon thé” (my tea)  sounds just like “monter” (to go up). Hahaha…

What does a cigar say in an elevator?
– I want to go down (another one. In French “descendre” (to go down) sounds like “des cendres” (ashes).

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Le bateau

Une petite fille dit à son père:
– Papa! Papa! Regarde un bateau !
– C’est pas un bateau ça; c’est un yacht !
– Comment ça s’écrit «yacht »?
– Heu … tu as raison c’est un bateau !

Note: In spoken French, they may say “C’est pas” instead of “Ce n’est pas.” 

A little girl says to her father:
– Daddy! Daddy! Look! A boat!
– That’s not a boat; it’s a yacht!
– How do you spell “yacht”?
– Er … you’re right; it’s a boat!

Toto et le temps qui passe

La maîtresse demande à Toto:
– Quel est le futur de “je bâille” ?
– Je dors !

The yeacher asks Toto:
– What is the future [tense] of ‘I yawn’?
– I sleep!

 

For more audio French jokes and puns, follow these links:

https://www.frenchtoday.com/blog/french-jokes-and-puns-blagues-en-francais-audio-1

https://www.frenchtoday.com/blog/french-jokes-and-puns-blagues-en-francais-audio-2

https://www.frenchtoday.com/blog/french-jokes-and-puns-blagues-en-francais-audio-3

https://www.frenchtoday.com/blog/french-jokes-and-puns-blagues-en-francais-audio-4

https://www.frenchtoday.com/blog/french-jokes-and-puns-blagues-en-francais-5-with-audio

https://www.frenchtoday.com/blog/french-jokes-puns-blagues-en-francais-audio-6

https://www.frenchtoday.com/blog/french-jokes-puns-blagues-en-francais-audio-7

https://www.frenchtoday.com/blog/french-jokes-puns-blagues-en-francais-audio-8

https://www.frenchtoday.com/blog/french-jokes-puns-blagues-en-francais-audio-9

https://www.frenchtoday.com/blog/french-jokes-puns-blagues-en-francais-audio-10

https://www.frenchtoday.com/blog/french-jokes-puns-blagues-en-francais-audio-11

https://www.frenchtoday.com/blog/french-jokes-puns-blagues-en-francais-audio-12

https://www.frenchtoday.com/blog/french-jokes-puns-blagues-en-francais-audio-13

https://www.frenchtoday.com/blog/french-jokes-puns-blagues-en-francais-14-audio

https://www.frenchtoday.com/blog/french-jokes-puns-blagues-en-francais-15-audio

https://www.frenchtoday.com/blog/french-jokes-puns-blagues-en-francais-16-audio

https://www.frenchtoday.com/blog/french-jokes-puns-blagues-en-francais-17-audio

https://www.frenchtoday.com/blog/french-jokes-puns-blagues-en-francais-18-audio

https://www.frenchtoday.com/blog/french-jokes-puns-blagues-en-francais-19-audio

https://www.frenchtoday.com/blog/french-jokes-puns-blagues-en-francais-20-audio

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