1 - How to pick the right pronoun?
First, you have to figure out the grammatical value of the word you want to replace.
For example ; Tina regarde la télévision.
Qui regarde ? Tina regarde. Tina est le sujet.
Therefore, I will choose a subject pronoun to replace Tina.
The list of subject pronoun is: Je, tu, il, elle, on, nous, vous, ils, elles.
Tina is feminine, singular, a third person (she), so I'll pick "elle".
This is often the biggest problem English speakers face when dealing with pronouns. They don't know how to figure out the grammatical value of the noun they want to replace. To solve this problem, I strongly suggest you get this book, available on Amazon : English Grammar for Students of French: The Study Guide for Those Learning French.
Now, in French, you have many kinds of pronouns. Today, let's look at stress pronouns and object pronouns, which are the ones that confuse learners of French the most.
2- Stress pronouns
They are used after c'est, alone (as in pointing to someone to say "him", or raising your hand to get picked), and before and after prepositions
- c'est moi. Avec toi. Lui et moi.
- Moi, moi !! (shouting it out to get picked).
The list is moi, toi, LUI, ELLE, nous, vous EUX ELLES
Note that in stress pronouns, LUI is used only for MASCULINE singular, and also learn the plural masculine EUX - pronounced like jE
3 - Direct and indirect object pronouns
To find out the COD (complement d'objet direct) and the COI (complement d'objet indirect) it is essential that you ask your grammatical questions IN FRENCH. the problem with these is that English may take a COI where French takes a COD...
Your grammar questions are:
subject + verb + qui/quoi ? = COD
subject + verb + à qui = COI
The COI is always an animate being (person or animal)
The COD may be a thing or a person
Tina donne les fleurs à Paul
Tina donne quoi ? Les fleurs = COD
Tina donne à qui ? à Paul = COI
The list of COD pronouns is:
Me, te, le/la, nous, vous, les - note me, te, le/la become m', t', l' + vowel or h
The list of COI pronouns is
Me, te, LUI, nous, vous, LEUR - note me and te become m' or t' + vowel or h
So, for a COI, lui means him AND her.
Note that for both object groups, me, te, nous, vous are the same. So the pronoun only change between le/la/l' or lui and les or leur.
Pronouns usually go right before the CONJUGATED verb, or the "pas" in the negative, and there are lots of glidings in spoken French (use my French audiobooks to get accustomed to understanding spoken French).
je la regarde
je l'ai regardée
je ne la regarde pas
A LOT OF VERBS take direct object pronouns.
ONLY A FEW VERBS take indirect object pronouns ; acheter à, emprunter à, prêter à, offrir à, rendre à, donner à, vendre à, parler à, demander à, dire à, telephoner à, ecrire à, sourire à, repondre à, souhaiter à, envoyer à, laisser à, présenter à, servir à, raconter à... So the best thing to do is to drill with this verbs and lui and leur... je lui téléphone, nous leur vendons....
Je connais Martine = je connais qui ? Martine
COD feminine singular
Je la connais
For feminine singular, your "choice" of object pronoun is between "la, l'" or "lui " but it is never "elle", so it will NEVER be "je elle connais, or je connais elle".
Same goes for masuline : you choice is "le, l' or lui", NEVER il.
You also need to be careful about your liaisons with nous, vous, les.
ma mère arrose les fleurs le soir
ma mère arrose quoi ? ma mère arrose les fleurs - femine, plural. COD
ma mère les Zarrose le soir
4 - What is really confusing
Now, you see that pronouns are confusing, because the same words have different values:
- NOUS and VOUS are the form for almost all pronouns: subject, stress, object, reflexive, etc...
- LUI can mean "for/with/by... - HIM - masculine singular ONLY when it is a stress pronoun, AND "him or her" when it is an indirect object pronoun.
- LEUR means them, but it's also the form of the possessive adjective "their" ; voici leur maison.
- LE, LA, L', LES, are direct object pronouns AND definite articles meaning "the".